Getting out is hard.
Parenting is hard.....
Parenting after getting out? That’s even harder.
Maybe your child is distant.
Maybe they Googled your name.
Maybe they smile at you one day… and shut down the next.
You’re not alone.
Parenting after incarceration means walking a road with care, patience, and a whole lot of love.
Here’s how to begin again — even if things feel broken.
🕰️ 1. Time Didn’t Stop While You Were Gone
YOUR CHILD KEPT LIVING
They laughed. They cried. They had milestones, They had trauma.....They had birthdays, bad days, and bonding — all without you.
They may have connected deeply with another caregiver, teacher, grandparent, or family friend.
That doesn’t mean they don’t love you.
It just means they had to survive.
You’re not replacing anyone. You’re rebuilding something new.
Say this:
“I know I missed a lot. I’m proud of how strong you’ve been. I’m here now, and I want to move forward with you.”
💬 2. Keep It Simple, Keep It Real
You don’t have to come home with big speeches.
Start with everyday things.
Ask about school, food, music, or a funny memory you both share.
Try asking:
“What made you laugh this week?”
“What’s your favorite thing to do lately?”
“Remember when we used to [insert moment]?”
It may feel small — but it builds trust.
💻 3. They Might Know More Than You Think
Kids hear things. Kids Google.
You don’t have to go into full detail — but be honest when it comes up.
Don’t dodge. Don’t blame.
You’re not here to defend the past. You’re here to build a future.
Say this:
“Yes, that happened. And I’ve been doing a lot of work to be someone you can count on now.”
🧠 4. Let Them Feel What They Feel
Your child might not be ready to jump back into a relationship.
They might smile at you and pull away the next day.
That’s not rejection. That’s protection.
Let them heal at their pace.
Don’t push. Don’t guilt. Just stay kind. Stay consistent. Let them say "no". They are learning boundaries and we are learning to respect this new version of a young person.
Say this:
“Whatever you feel, it’s okay. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”
🧤 5. You’re Parenting with Kid Gloves — and That’s Not a Bad Thing
You might feel like you’re walking on eggshells.
Like you don’t know how to parent anymore.
That’s normal.
Gentle parenting isn’t weakness. It’s wisdom.
You’re not trying to be the same parent you were. - Lets face it, you're different and you'll never be the same.
You’re learning how to parent after pain.
That takes humility, patience, and grace — for them and for yourself.
✅ Final Truth: You’re Not Too Late
You don’t have to say the perfect thing.
You just have to keep saying:
“I love you. I’m here. And I’m staying.”
That’s how healing starts.
That’s how cycles break.
That’s how love begins again.
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